Why Have a Meditator Life Partner? Looking for and finding a life partner is like getting ready for an adventure of a lifetime and not always knowing where it may lead. But three things can help – compassion as a guide map, meditation as a compass, and love as a light to show the way. In this article, find out why [meditation is a trait worth looking for and how to share it in a relationship.
Everyone talks about the honeymoon part of a relationship, when two people gush and glow about their newfound feelings. During that phase, so much attention is on the discovery of each other. What are the likes and dislikes? What are their interests and touchy points? What are the surprise talents and quirks that just keep us guessing? Finding out all we can about our beloved is a big research project!
For those of us looking for a partner, perusing over profiles on the Internet or overhearing stories about a certain someone is like a mystery. There is suspense when imagining what life would be like with someone who scuba dives or another person who likes rock climbing. But what if you are interested in something beyond these superficial preferences?
If you already have a partner who is a non-meditator, you simply need to encourage him to meditate! Let's see how you can add value to your relationship with meditation.
On my Facebook page, a friend has posted the quote, "True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable," by Dave Tyson Gentry. Meditation is a return to silence. And meditation can help create a deep friendship, where two people can rest in their nature – peacefulness.
1 - Allows you to be on the same wavelength
2 - Gives you support in your own personal journey
3 - When opposites attract, meditation can be the silent mediator
Meditating is simply sitting still in silence with yourself. You just let it be. You relax. The other person in the room relaxes. Neither one of you is there to judge the other. No anger, no hatred, no mistrust. Or, at least, less of it.
As you sit for meditation, thoughts come and go. On some days, there are lots of thoughts; on others, not so many. The other person sits, alone in their own stillness, looking around the room, coughing, or generally making noise. It doesn’t matter. You simply sit with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Somehow, in that in-between space, it is safe.
How often have you heard the expression, “opposites attract”? Like yin and yang, sweet and sour, winter and summer, one simply complements the other. Sitting in meditation once or twice a day can give you the sensitivity to enjoy the oppositeness!
Becoming established in more and more positivity, you start to see conflict like a tiny bit of spice on your dinner plate. It makes the dinner more special, more memorable, because of the unexpected. What happens when something unexpected happens, when you are already happy? You laugh!
What is the difference between a famous comedian and your spouse? The comedian shouts insults. Your spouse shouts insults. Why do you laugh at the comedian but get angry and shout back at your spouse? Because the comedian is happy and you are happy when you go to see a comedian! Meditation helps us respond to conflict with a sense of humor. Aha, the switch! Becoming more relaxed and at ease, through meditation, we can realize that this “switch” comes from somewhere within.
“The heart knows to recognize. You cannot recognize your life partner, your guru, from the outside appearance, but through your heart. Something happens in your heart, you feel in your heart that he is honest and good, he belongs to me. So, become peaceful,” says Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
Peace is our natural state. We feel a threat to our own sense of peace when we feel that love is threatened. Your spouse says something to you that shakes you out of your feeling of peace. You feel you are not loved.
Meditation connects you back to your natural state, your very existence. With a sense of peace that is getting strengthened by your meditation practice every day, your naturalness comes through in your expressions. Communication spontaneously rises from the heart. Authentic sharing begins.
Any relationship requires some space for love to grow and blossom fully. Meditation makes you naturally sensitive, and you begin to understand when your partner needs that space. With that sensitivity, clashes are less likely to happen.
Simple tips for integrating meditation into your partnership
1 - Designate a special space for meditation in the home, and decorate it together
2 - Just as you allow quiet time for yourself each day, respect quiet time for your partner
3 - Support one another by allowing each other to attend meditation retreats
4 - Know that sitting in silent meditation rejuvenates your capacity to care for others
Inspired by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's wisdom talks
By Marilyn Galan
